I have had trepidation this week about the coming weekend. This is the weekend my brother and niece (his daughter) are both coming in to retreive what little we are allowed from the cottage. It will be the last time that we will be at the cottage.
To say the least it will be difficult. Difficult to not take it all, or torch it all or to do something outlandish out of frustration and anger. Difficult to say goodbye for good. I have had different thoughts about it all week and regardless of anything else I always get this rush or tightening in my chest and a supreme sense of saddness. Sounds dramatic I know but it is dramatic when you are looking at the end of something that was the equivalent of a family member. Not to mention what this represents for the state of affairs between any of us and mymomzilla. I have decided not to call her my terrorist any more because despite the fact that she can and does terrorize I feel that it gives her to much power; it makes her sound and thus seem powerful. It is a powerful word after all. My momzilla will have to do.
This weekend may very well be the true end to any hope of ever having anything to do with her again. And I may not be alone. She is doing her best to drive everyone away. The ultimate victim, even if she has to victimize herself to be the victim. How twisted is that? In the meantime the twisted bitch is lashing out all over the place. She has become ridiculous about the cotnents of the cottage. True it's only stuff but it makes my blood boil to think that she would rather see other people throw it out than have us have it. It is truly beyond belief. Well not really, not with her. So beyond belief that I wouldn't be surprised if somehow we were ambushed out there by her and unclezilla or even just unclezilla. I sure hope they are smarter than that. Especially just him showing up. If that were the case I could easily see it escalate into something it should not be. Let's hope that's not the case. This has been difficult enough without that sort of shit entering into it. Besides I've been wrong every time I've speculated about this kind of thing before.
Time will tell I 'spose and when all is said and done I'll be here to write about it. Joyyyyyyy!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Responses to last post
I had posted what I wrote here yesterday on a forum for NPD and as part of one's response recieved these words of wisdom:
Well said! I can't wait for that day myself. Many people have told me to not say such things or to not wish her dead etc. because I surely couldn't mean it. Well, I sure as heck do and defy anyone who hasn't experienced this to tell me otherwise. Sadly some days I read the obits knowing she won't be in there but hoping that she will. Honestly I have not done that for the longest while now but my point is that this is how messed up it becomes. How terrible the treatemnt must be for children to think and feel this way about their own parent/s? And yet those not in the know will look at the situation and tell me/us how terribly I/we are treating our so-called-parent.
Being removed from the will was not a surprise to me. What is a surprise is that she is doing this to my brother as well. He's still calling her although just barely and other than disagreeing with her has really done nothing to her. I went N/C knowing that to do so would probably mean giving up on all that stuff; the cottage, the estate etc. but didn't think she would then include him in her game. Further proof that she needs to have someone to chew on. In the meantime she is eager to help the folks that bought the cottage but is being remarkably stupid and outrightly mean about what we can and can not take. It is the last way in which she thinks she can exert some form of power and control over us. Right down to the last minute! Nice!
I think we all know how you feel, Ross. BTW, it's hard for me to describe, but I feel liberated, exonerated and invigorated by not having to owe anything to that woman's memory one day.
Well said! I can't wait for that day myself. Many people have told me to not say such things or to not wish her dead etc. because I surely couldn't mean it. Well, I sure as heck do and defy anyone who hasn't experienced this to tell me otherwise. Sadly some days I read the obits knowing she won't be in there but hoping that she will. Honestly I have not done that for the longest while now but my point is that this is how messed up it becomes. How terrible the treatemnt must be for children to think and feel this way about their own parent/s? And yet those not in the know will look at the situation and tell me/us how terribly I/we are treating our so-called-parent.
Being removed from the will was not a surprise to me. What is a surprise is that she is doing this to my brother as well. He's still calling her although just barely and other than disagreeing with her has really done nothing to her. I went N/C knowing that to do so would probably mean giving up on all that stuff; the cottage, the estate etc. but didn't think she would then include him in her game. Further proof that she needs to have someone to chew on. In the meantime she is eager to help the folks that bought the cottage but is being remarkably stupid and outrightly mean about what we can and can not take. It is the last way in which she thinks she can exert some form of power and control over us. Right down to the last minute! Nice!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
More lows.
After yet again telling my brother what we could and couldn't take from the cottage, mymomzilla today told him to have a safe trip here and a safe trip home. When he stated; and this despite her recent treatment of him, that he was planning on seeing her while he was here she responded with a terse "Why? I have nothing to see you about!" Nice one. She can be so vile. He hasn't been here for a while and that is what she says to him a week before his arival. That's a real good way of making sure you don't see him. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
With that she went on to tell him that he needn't worry about having power of attorney because he, and I'm assuming myself no longer have that and that she has re-written her will. Oh it was only a matter of time. I never wondered if but when she would write myself and surprisingly my brother out of the will. Well apparenty it has happened.
Cie la vie, well mine anyway.
With that she went on to tell him that he needn't worry about having power of attorney because he, and I'm assuming myself no longer have that and that she has re-written her will. Oh it was only a matter of time. I never wondered if but when she would write myself and surprisingly my brother out of the will. Well apparenty it has happened.
Cie la vie, well mine anyway.
Some needed days off.
I have tried for the last number of days to take some time off both from here and from my own thoughts. HA! I find at times that the more I spend time writing, as therapeutic as it may be, the more it can feel like I am wallowing in it all. The more I wallow the more it seems to take over my every thought. It is insidious that way. So, trying to take to heart the advice that I give her too much energy I decided to step back a bit and try not to give her or any of my energy, my thoughts, my soul. She doesn't deserve it anyway.
To my surprise and pleasure it has, for the most part, worked! This past week, although not without it's momnets and struggles was, for the most part, quite pleasant. More than usual I was able to keep her and her shit out of my thoughts. Well for the most part. Rome wasn't built in a day! LOL The bottom line is that I was not constantly looking over my shoulder or as the case may be out my front window. I was not always having the ongoing turmoil that is her playing over and over in my head. I was able to control my anger and have it dissipate quite quickly rather than festering and boiling over on the wrong people. So it was a surprisingly good week.
Perhaps the calm before the storm? I sure hope not but am not niave enough to think that next weekened will be anyhting but mostly shitty if not outright awful. It will be great to see my brother but all for the wrong reasons. He should be coming to help open the place or at least just to visit. Instead he is coming so that he and I can go to what was once our cottoge to remove what we have been allowed to remove for posterity sake. Not that future generations will give a damn about a long-forgotten cottage. At least we will have had one last visit to the place, for whatever that's worth.
Thanks to those who have stumbled upon my sordid tales of life with mymomzilla and decided to take the time to leave a comment or two. As always other's support and understanding is very much appreciated.
To my surprise and pleasure it has, for the most part, worked! This past week, although not without it's momnets and struggles was, for the most part, quite pleasant. More than usual I was able to keep her and her shit out of my thoughts. Well for the most part. Rome wasn't built in a day! LOL The bottom line is that I was not constantly looking over my shoulder or as the case may be out my front window. I was not always having the ongoing turmoil that is her playing over and over in my head. I was able to control my anger and have it dissipate quite quickly rather than festering and boiling over on the wrong people. So it was a surprisingly good week.
Perhaps the calm before the storm? I sure hope not but am not niave enough to think that next weekened will be anyhting but mostly shitty if not outright awful. It will be great to see my brother but all for the wrong reasons. He should be coming to help open the place or at least just to visit. Instead he is coming so that he and I can go to what was once our cottoge to remove what we have been allowed to remove for posterity sake. Not that future generations will give a damn about a long-forgotten cottage. At least we will have had one last visit to the place, for whatever that's worth.
Thanks to those who have stumbled upon my sordid tales of life with mymomzilla and decided to take the time to leave a comment or two. As always other's support and understanding is very much appreciated.
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