It must be spring!!!

Why is it that mymomzilla escalates every spring? If you look at my posts there is a clear pattern of posting every year around this time. Not sure what's up with that but I sure as hell wish it would stop. I still maintain no contact with her as she has not changed one iota. To engage with her would be very dangerous for me - still! Hard to believe that after all of these years she has not become the insignificant being that I'd hoped. I guess the bottom line is that she is, dare I say it, still my mother in some weird form and although I chose to not have anything to do with her I still wish that it could be different. Then she goes and pulls shit like she did yesterday. H'rumph.

She sunk to a new low. It was my oldest child's birthday (17) yesterday. Mymomzilla phoned my child on their cellphone to wish them a happy birthday and then proceeded to tell them that she once gave my wife a fancy watch and some special dishes and that she now wants them back and for my child to see what they could do about that. This stuff was given almost 10 years ago and now all of the sudden she wants them back? This is nothing more than another salvo on her part; a power play and attempt to get a rise out of me and I fully intend to ignore it. That does not negate how utterly inappropriate it was to go through my child on this. Especially on their fucking birthday. I don't care about the stuff. If she wants it she can damn well have it. I can live with the idea that she wants to strip me of any kind of fond memory I may have by trying to remove anything nice that she may have done for us in the past. She gave some money towards our now 9 year old vehicle, is she going to go after that too? Right now I wouldn't put it past her to start reclaiming anything and everything she thinks she had a hand in.

The only good thing about this is that I feel an odd sense of calm about it all. I am boiling over the fact that she chose to go through my child in such a inappropriate way. I am considering that my younger kids are no longer safe in her company. And they are all supposed to go out for lunch with her next week. Yikes! I am angry that this is even a consideration. BUT at the same time I am calm in the knowledge that this is the raving of a lunatic and I intend to chalk it up to just that and ignore it. Several years ago there is no way I could have done this and would have seethed for days on this contemplating what I was going to say and do about it. Now I am content to ignore it knowing that to do anything else would simply feed into it. I have told my child, should she be speaking to her again, to simply tell her that the message had been passed on and to leave it at that. To acknowledge it beyond that only gives her more fuel to continue with more crap.

Yes I want to phone her up and rip a strip off of her for involving my child. Maybe as their father that is what I should be doing. I also know full well that as is the case with most borderline personalities that is exactly what she wants. Knowing that is what has allowed me to feel this calmness and contentment with my stance of simply ignoring it. Calling her would give her the satisfaction that she finally found a way to get a rise out of me; to get me to break my non contact. The truly scary part is now wondering just how far she's prepared to go to get that rise. My silence will probably only escalate her further. Will that only serve to put my kids in jeopardy? That will be unacceptable and will only result in her not being allowed to have anything to do with them either. So sad isn't it?

For work purposes I had to take a break from writing this and upon rereading it I am worried that I do indeed need to protect my kids more. Am I hanging them out on a limb by letting them maintain contact with her? That is always a possibility when dealing with her. The truth is that I think they would be happy not having anything to do with her. Recently when my other child received a birthday card in the mail from mymomzilla instead of being elated and excited by the potential birthday treat enclosed they were conflicted and dreading the fact that this now meant that they had to call her to thank her. Calling her is always a crap shoot and they too have come to learn this - sadly the hard way. They feel they have to be restrained and worried about what they say because of how she may react. Is that a healthy child-grandparent relationship? Not at all. Honestly I don't know of anyone who has been able to maintain a healthy relationship with her. So why am I putting my kids out there like this? Mostly because despite all they still care for her and want to see her albeit only once in a while. Oh what to do? thus far I have simply been letting them dictate this but I will say for the record that should she step out of line during their next visit with her it will most definitely be their last visit. I would be negligent as a loving caring parent to not make that call.

I think I'll go hug my kids now.